What is the best lube to use when trying to conceive?
Be warned, the slippery topic of fertility-friendly lube brings out my natural tendency to overshare. Faint hearted readers may wish to turn back now, before I turn your stomach.
It is vitally important to keep my husband's little swimmers alive, happy and mobile if I have any hope of getting pregnant. The best temporary home is likely to be natural fertile cervical mucus, which is perfectly designed to keep sperm alive and moving towards the egg. Provided that it is of good quality of course. The NHS does not test whether mucus is too thick, too thin, or consisting entirely of natural killer cells.
So here I explore how to encourage my body to create more fertile cervical mucus, as well as other products that can be used as fertility friendly lube.
How to improve your own fertile cervical mucus
In an attempt to press, Control - Alt - Delete and return my body to its factory settings, I'm keen to try a few things to improve my own cervical mucus:
Avoid antihistamines and decongestants
These won’t just dry up my runny nose and eyes, but also all other mucus production in my body, including from my cervix. Luckily, I'm not a key user of antihistamines, despite our cat Roger attempting to bring on an allergy by depositing his fur on every conceivable surface in our house. I also stay away from decongestants, especially just prior to ovulation.
2. Guaifenesin to increase cervical mucus
Some cough medicine contains guaifenesin (I'm pleased to be writing that and not pronouncing it - too many vowels clumped together), which thins and increases the production of cervical mucus.
I trialed this approach one cycle, taking 4 teaspoons of cough medicine a day before my fertile window until the day after ovulation (6 days in total). The syrup tastes hideous and the high glucose content was a rebellious act against my attempts to go sugar free. In future, I should try to find pure guaifenesin, if I can.
The result was a dramatic increase in volume. It was a Niagara Falls in my pants, just with fewer tourists taking photos. The impact on the quality of the mucus? I can't say. It didn't result in a pregnancy, so I am still none the wiser about whether more is better.
3. Beech wood to improve fertility
Beech wood is a potential natural alternative to guaifenesin. Beech wood contains no additives and can be purchased in health food stores. Apparently. I have no clue what it is or how it is sold. An internet search reveals that it comes as a supplement, which is disappointing. I had imagined getting my witch on by stewing a piece of beech wood bark in a cup of boiling water.
Which lubricants are sperm friendly?
Sometimes an extra helping hand is needed to ensure sufficient fluid to keep the little blighters alive and swimming. Here are some of the recommendations I have stumbled across during my obsessive reading on fertility.
Top 5 sperm friendly lubricants to help you to conceive
1. Your own cervical mucus
Undoubtedly the best lubricant for gaining that ever elusive second line on a fertility test. But presumably, if you have found this webpage and you are anything like me, an extra helping hand wouldn’t go amiss, so check out the next 4 suggestions.
2. Egg whites as sperm friendly lube
Egg whites are mentioned as the lube of choice in Taking Charge of Your Fertility by Toni Weschler and The Infertility Cure by Randine Lewis. I can't get my head around how this works. Do I need to whisk it with a fork, like making a meringue? Or do I just crack it, separate the yolk and I'm good to go? Could I get salmonella from rubbing it in my muff? How would I explain that at a hospital? Do I need a back up story? Ordinary salmonella, obviously. Why the need to mention my muff at all?
I'm yet to try egg whites. If I did, I would go for the best quality organic eggs, unwhisked, from a happy, adventurous chicken, the outdoorsy wholesome type that would never have imagined the destiny its egg would fulfil. Alternatively, I could just purchase a lazy person carton of egg whites to keep in the fridge for quick and easy access.
3. Canola and baby oils for a fertility friendly lubricant
Research has shown canola and baby oils to be gentle on sperm and to have only minor impact on motility (sperm movement). Even if you buy the best quality cold-pressed organic variety, they are still cheaper than buying branded fertility friendly lube.
But there is a clear (or should that say murky) down side to its use - bed sheet stainage. It is tricky to apply the oil without leaving greasy marks on the bed linen. This led us to the yet another trying to conceive life lesson – the only thing less sexy than scheduled and perfunctory baby making sex, is sex on a towel to spare the bed sheets.
It was a horror that kept on giving as I realised with disgust one morning, after emerging from the shower, that I had dried myself with the sex towel. The use of oils as a lube were a low (and greasy) patch for us. One to which we haven’t returned.
4. Mustard oil as a lube?
You have got to be kidding, right? The craziest suggestion for lubricant that I’ve read is mustard oil. Research, one can only assume from a scientist who doesn’t often get laid, has shown that "exposure to mustard oil caused persistent hyperactivation of sperm in each sample with no decrease in motility”. Much the same ‘persistent hyperactivation’ you get if you set light to a human. Is it a good thing or are the sperm whizzing round the Petri dish trying to out-run the burn?
As desperate as I am for a baby, I draw the line at rubbing mustard oil into my vag and asking my husband to ‘jump on’, ensuring that the mustard oil is rubbed into every internal crevice. It is a definite pass. For now. Let’s see how desperate I become in another year’s time.
5. Branded fertility specific lubricant, such as Pre-seed
Returning to more conventional suggestions, Pre-seed is PH balanced to mirror cervical mucus and designed specifically not to harm sperm. Studies shows this lubricant to be superior to other conventional (non-fertility specialist) lubes in terms of sperm maintaining motility and staying alive. After half an hour Pre-Seed does cause a decline in progressive motility (an inability to move in a straight line - like me after several wines). After this initial decline, overall sperm motility remains high.
I've used Pre-seed for many cycles. I'm not sure that the company would appreciate me declaring that, given that I've never fallen pregnant and must be a terrible advert for their product. It is effective, doesn’t ruin the bedding and doesn’t burn like I imagine mustard might.
But there is one drawback – it can be a mood killer. The lubricant comes with applicators to apply it internally, which either requires prior planning of unsexy scheduled sex or a 'hold that thought' moment as I dash to the bathroom to get Pre-Seeded up. Not hugely romantic, but then neither is trying for a baby, really. Not for us infertiles.
What lube to avoid when trying to get pregnant - Sperm murderers
Is conventional lube fertility friendly?
Using conventional lube can hinder the sperm’s arduous journey to the egg. Commonly used vaginal lubricants have been shown to negatively affect sperm motility and are therefore firmly off my shopping list. Some research shows that using conventional lube does not impact how long it takes a person to conceive, but this study used fertile myrtles only. Women with a history of infertility, or with a partner with a history of infertility were excluded from participation (charming). I will definitely err on the side of caution, especially as I wouldn’t have even qualified for that study.
Sesame and olive oil as lubricant?
Although oils such as baby and canola, have been shown to be acceptable in terms of their lack of harm to sperm, others such as sesame oil and olive oil have more severely negative impacts on sperm and should be avoided. No doubt sesame and olive oils would have an equally impressive impact on ruining bedsheets, but given its sperm hampering tendencies, they should be reserved for the kitchen only.
So there we have it. All I know about lube in one place, mixed in with plenty of unnecessary and graphic personal details. If I ever become desperate (and stupid) enough to try the mustard oil I shall let you know, straight after I am released from hospital with genital burns and a hilarious story that I will never share down the pub.